In the Quiet

For the past few months I have been suffering from sleep issues.  It's usually between the four and five o'clock hours that my eyes pop open. I find it difficult to turn off my brain, so I just get up.  I'm not sure why I can't sleep past 6 o'clock. Ever. But I know that while my family sleeps soundly in their beds, I am up. Thinking. Praying. Perusing.

Quietly I awake and walk on tip toes, so as not to wake the dogs. Four o'clock is a bit early to have to deal with having to let them in and out of the house at least 2-3 times. That's the routine they've established for themselves when they wake up. And, of course, I give them everything their little hearts desire. Don't judge. They're spoiled. I admit it!

Quietly, I climb the stairs to the office area in the loft.

Quietly, I sit down and begin spewing words on the page to get them off my mind. This blog of mine has come to be something of a counselor for me. I've toyed with the thought of actually going to a real live person to help me get beyond my anger of what occured during the past few months, but fear and other financial commitments seem to have gotten the best of me.  I've been before and it helped so much, but the timing this time around just doesn't quite seem right. God continues to be faithful. Each day He puts someone in my life that helps me to get beyond the anger, and I know the healing process has begun.  The tears have subsided.  It's been over a week that one has fallen from these eyes. For this I am so grateful. Don't get me wrong. I don't mind a good cry every now and again. But every day for weeks on end is not my idea of a good time.

Today, I sit in the quiet and I am filled with so much gratitude.  Slowly.  VERY Slowly.  This house is becoming a home.  I'm learning to live with the parts I hate most.  The ginormous bathroom with 4 doors, aging toilet, and giant window in the shower is beginning to grow on me.

Here's the before.

And here's where we are today.

We've spent a lot of Mann hours regrouting, scrubbing, replacing outdated fixtures and decorating this room this month.  We still have to refinish the cabinets and complete the door transformations, but I am thrilled with how it's starting to come together.

In the meantime, I am so grateful for a clean shower, a toilet that functions properly and floors that are finally clean enough to walk on barefoot!

One of the best things about this reno was putting this idea to the test.  I think you can agree that this $5 tool did wonders to my nasty bathroom floor!

I decided to take the plunge and redo the doors and trim in this house after seeing post on Pinterest. 

One down.  3 more to go.  In this room that is!

My handy Mann replaced the faucets, door handles and light fixtures with ORB because I'm a fan of the warmth this color brings to a room.  Not to mention it hides the grunge!  He even surprised me with a new toilet handle after a toilet repair didn't turn out exactly how he had intended. 

I saw these and knew instantly that the oak cabinet above the toilet needed to be replaced.

I wasn't able to find a towel rack that I loved, so I headed over to World Market to pick up a few hooks and attached them to some leftover wood from making the floating shelves.

Here'a a snapshot of the shelves and towel rack together.  Adding the caramel color has really warmed this space up.  And the touch of green here and there has been fun, too!

Looking forward to figuring out what to do with the vanity cabinet this weekend.  Trying to decide if we should paint it or sand it and refinish is with stain to match the floating shelves.  They are pretty close in color, but the shelves have less orange and more brown which I prefer.  I went with dark cabinetry and flooring in the last house and learned that I'm not a huge fan.  The trend factor won out, but after having to keep it clean the past three years, I realized I just don't care for the darker wood tones. I'm really enjoying the lighter browns and barn grey tones, so I'm going with those colors this time around.

Until next time...

So the dust is beginning to settle a bit around here.

My mom is getting settled in her apartment in Wisonsin. And while I miss her incredibly, I am happy she is getting settled.

As of Wednesday, we are officially the homeowners of a little plot of land back in town.  It seems a little surreal that we sold our home and moved back to town in less than 5 weeks, but I'm coming to terms with what has happened, and allowing God to cover me in His Grace.  Without it, I think I'd need to jump off the deep end, and that doesn't thrill me at all!

With that being said, we are starting our first home improvement projects this weekend. These include:

• Cleaning the vents.  Just bought a groupon for a company to come in and remove the dirt and grime that has accumulated over the past 30 years.  And it couldn't have been better timing, as it smells like something has died in the duct work and Emaleigh's room smells like rancid trash. Poor kid. Thanks to a plug in air freshener and covering her vent with a box, being in her room has been bearable! She's so patient with us. We'll also be replacing most of the vent covers as the old ones are pretty banged up and nasty looking.  Some are even looking rusted out.  

• Install new locks.  Nothing says safety better than chaning out the old locks for new ones.  Not sure how many people have lived in this home over the past 30 years, but it's clear they've never been changed and the 1980's antique brass look has to go. I'm sure it was awesome at the time, but like most trendy home decor items, they don't last over time.

We have 3 exterior door locks that need keys.  My Mann prefers to have one house key, so being able to rekey them all to match was "key!"

• Head to Ikea with my dear friend, Susan.  Going to take a break from the dirt and grime to get some storage and decor ideas to bring into our new palace!

(via)

• Pick out paint colors.  This has been a bit tricky for me.  I know I want to go light.  While we have over 2700 square feet in this new place, it's laid out over 3 levels, and the spaces are not huge.  I love warm earthy colors, but this home might feel a bit closed in if I go that route. I want to go with a white tone, but as I picked up color swatches this past week, the choices are never ending.  Yellow toned whites, gray toned whites, pink toned whites...

Seriously?  Who knew there were a bazillion and one white choices.  And I only picked up 4 of the samples available Ahhh...I love making choices!  NOT!

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with the number of projects to be done. In fact, everytime I try to get started with one, I get distracted by another. I still haven't hung anything on the walls, and have a few furniture placement decisions to make. I'm not loving the living room layout, and trying to figure out how to make it feel comfortable without being too cluttered.

I know it will all work out in the end, but it's taking me so much longer than any home we've ever lived in before.

#growing my patience in news ways

So You Want to See the Inside?

Well, I'm too scared to show it to you!

I'm sure many of you are anxious to see what the inside of our new joint looks like, but I am feeling a bit leary right now.  My home has always been my sanctuary and I'm being stretched in every way possible to get to a good place with my new surroundings. For the past 13 years, I haven't had to worry about someone else's dirt. Even with the country house that we rehabbed, we didn't move in until everything was basically "new." And being the clean freak that I am, I am struggling with the idea that I'm moving into someone else's dirt. We've been here for a week, and I still haven't been able to walk barefoot in the house. Even when getting out of the shower, I go from bathmat to rug to slippers! Pray for me.  I know I have issues!

The cabinets are old and worn. Some are even broken. The walls are in need of fresh paint. The floors need to be redone. The outlets and faceplates need to be updated. The vents need to be cleaned. The window coverings are old and broken. It feels like everywhere I turn, there is something to be done. Plus, the rooms are smaller.  While this house has more square footage than all of the other homes we've living in, our furnishings aren't fitting into to rooms the same. I am having to figure out new layouts and new ways to use what I already have without buying new. (It's my new motto...Save, save, save!)

I am feeling like a failure in so many ways as a result of our last endeavor not working out, but I am trying to overcome these feelings by being grateful for all that God has provided. The country house turned out to be a much larger financial commitment that Mr. Mann and I could handle, and we don't want to get sucked into debt with this one, so I am going to have to be patient, which is my biggest weakness!

I know over time this place will shine, but I am vowing to pay cash for all of our projects.  It took us many years to become debt free, and while we only had our mortgage payment when we moved to the country, it was so high because it included the cost of the home and two major rehab projects. We felt like we were sinking. Not to mention the added cost for gasoline and utilities.  Didn't realize those would be so much higher, but they were.  Live and learn!

Anyhow, I'm going to take a leap of faith, and trust that you won't be too judgemental of my "new" used surroundings!  The pictures I am about to share with you are not my own.  They are ones from the  real estate listing.  I've decided I will post my "original" pictures as we rehab each room.  Mind you, this will probably take me a bazillion years since I've decided to pay cash, but if I've learned anything from the last 3 homes, it's that I don't need to worry.  God will provide for my every need.  I can rest in knowing that He will be there every step of the way. Not to mention, I will get to use my creative talents along the way!

So without further ado...

Home Sweet Home

Living Room and Entry

Living Room

Dining and Kitchen (with a view of the yard...a little smaller than the last one!!)

Tiniest kitchen I've had since since our first year of marriage, but surprisingly easy to work in. Definitely plan on redoing this space one day.  Hopefully sooner rather than later, but remember, I'm going to be patient!

Still somewhat of an open concept which I am happy about.

Master bedroom.  Certainly leaves little to be desired, but I'm grateful for a warm room to put my bed in!

Main and Master Bath
Totally bizarre use of of space, but I've got some ideas for a redo of this area, too!

The loft is actually a great use of open space.  It has new carpet which makes it one of the easiest spaces to rehab.  Just a fresh coat of paint and some new window treatments.

Caleb's Room

Emaleigh's Room.  She's loving the corner window seats!

Kids Bath

Basement Rec Room

Lower Bedroom

Lower Bath

So there you have it.  We decided to move in and rent the place until we close next week.  While we could have saved a little money by waiting to move in until after closing, we decided that is was simpler not to have to load and unload our belongings twice. We took our chances on the appraisal coming in on target, and it did! While we wouldn't usually take a risk like this, we've felt the present of our savior during this whole process, so we took another leap of faith.

While I don't feel like this is even close to our forever home, I am warming up to it, and I wouldn't be surpised if we actually end up living in this house longer than any other house we've owned.  So far that would be our Cabriolet house at 10 years. I know lots of our family and friends aren't going to place bets on that, but trust me when I say stranger things have happened, and one should never say never.  All I can say for certain at this moment, is that we are following God's direction for our life, and if and when He feels like it is time to move on from this home, we will go!

Stay tuned for rehab updates in the upcoming days, weeks, months and years!  Like I said earlier.  I'm not in any particular rush on this house.  Going to live in it and let it speak to me.  I've never let a house do that, so I think I'll give it a try this time!

The Next Chapter...

source

If I were to right a book about my life's adventures with Mr. Mann, I would envision chapter titles to look something like this...

Chapter One
Get a job at a zoo and meet your husband even though you are only 16 and won't get married for another 7 years.

Chapter Two

Go to 4 different colleges before settling down and figuring out what do with your life, all the while dating and getting to know your husband whom you met in Chapter One.

Chapter Three

Get married, move across the country for 6 months, move back and live in a couple of apartments before finding your forever home.  Oh, and have a couple of kids who will change your lives forever!

Chapter Four

Decide that your current home isn't really your forever home and build from scratch knowing that this will be your forever home.

Chapter Five

Realize that what you thought was your forever home, wasn't really your forever home, so buy some acreage 20+ minutes outside of town and rehab a foreclosure to create your forever home during a major recession, mind you.

Chapter Six

Get a huge shakin' from Jesus, find out that previous forever home was not really God's forever plan and move back in town, begrudingly of course, because you don't really want to rehab another home, but realize that God's plans are for good and that He trusts you to follow His direction.  

Chapter Seven

Realize that forever homes can't possibly exist while you are here on earth, so make the best of what is offered to you and learn that paint will become your new best friend!